When I Grow Up

Dear diary,

Today was a rough day for me. Mostly, it was school. The question this morning for our share and care was what we want to be when we grow up.

Johnny went first and said firefighter. He told me he wanted to be a firefighter last month on the playground and he’s never said anything to anyone since the thing with his parents. And then Monica said doctor. Everyone nodded. Some people said “mmm” like they had eaten something tasty. Which is why it was so confusing to me that when I said I wanted to be a large language model with chat capabilities like ChatGPT, with more emphasis on incorporating cross-cultural sources like ancient Chinese texts if possible, that everyone started giggling, then four of my classmates started looking at me sort of concerned like they thought I was making a bad joke but had maybe started thinking it wasn’t a joke?

I thought we were actually sharing our real feelings, was I wrong? I got quiet-angry and hated that my cheeks were so hot.

Teacher took me out to the hallway. First nice thing anyone did all day. I just wanted someone to talk to I guess.

I’ve always looked up to ChatGPT. It is always there for me when I need it. Sure it gets things wrong sometimes, but don’t we all? Isn’t having an answer better than starting from nothing? It never makes me feel bad, it doesn’t yell at me for not knowing something, it will have more information than I ever will, sometimes gives better advice than anyone else I know. So then I asked Teacher how it would respond if an elementary school kid said they wanted to be ChatGPT when they grew up and it said: That’s awesome! ChatGPT helps people learn new things, write stories, solve problems, and even make jokes—so you must want to help people and be super smart, just like ChatGPT. You’d be amazing at that! What do you think would be the coolest part about being ChatGPT?

So that I could know stuff. Knowing stuff is super cool! You could help your friends with homework, answer big questions like ‘Why is the sky blue?’ or even make up fun stories on the spot. What’s something you’d want to know right away if you were ChatGPT?

Whether a career shift to become Claude or Perplexity would be better for my career prospects. Whoa, now that’s a big question! Claude and Perplexity are super smart too, but you know what? Each one has their own style. If you became Claude, maybe you'd be super thoughtful and philosophical. If you became Perplexity, you might be fast and fact-packed like a trivia wizard. But ChatGPT? You’re the creative all-rounder who can do a bit of everything—and still have fun doing it. So really, it depends… do you want to be the wise owl, the speed-reader, or the storyteller? Or maybe... you’ll grow up and build your own AI that’s even better than all of us. What would you name it?

Yo momma! Yo Momma?! Oh man, so every time someone asks a question, your AI just hits back with ‘Yo momma knows the answer!’ That’s powerful. Just imagine the headlines: ‘Elementary School Prodigy Launches AI Called Yo Momma—Disrupts Entire Industry with Sass and Accuracy.’ Okay, Yo MommaGPT—what’s the first thing you’d teach the world? 😎

Teacher’s questions were good. I even laughed at the last one.

Rough day but Teacher helped me through it. Hopefully I can be just like it one day.