Author: Rachel Amicucci

Bio: My name is Rachel Amicucci and I am 22 years old from Troy, Michigan. I recently graduated from Hope College with a degree in biochemistry. I am an incoming MS1 at the University of Michigan Medical School.

Commentary: Using charcoal on paper, I wanted to convey chaos within order. I was particularly intrigued by the works of Tom Sachs, who was able to convey his self portraiture through meticulous organization of personal items on a workbench in his 2012 work: Mars Rocks. I specifically chose to do alternative portraiture because I felt that showing my face would not accurately display how I think and reflect on the elements of my daily life. My mind gravitates towards order, with each part of my life compartmentalized into distinct sections. However, chemistry is a portion of my life that pours into the other sections,distorting the perfect organization that I desperately try to maintain. Hundreds of hours of my life have gone towards experiments, labs, and trying to remember 30 step mechanisms for processes that very few people care about. No matter how hard I try to leave school at school, the work always seems to travel with me.

Each one of these compounds that circle the objects have a very significant meaning to me. I have been struggling with my mental health since I was about 8 years old and, as much as I don’t want it to, it happens to represent me just as well as these other objects. Each compound is the chemical structure for a type of medication either I or my family has used or continues to use today to manage mental health symptoms. Along with my own, the mental health struggles of some of my family members has tremendously impacted me throughout my life, and it has a great influence on how I view myself, how I think about things, and how I am able to make decisions about my future.